PLEASE NOTE:
The following post on infertility is reprinted from Alicia's blog with her permission.
Please see her Yaya Stuff blog:
Yaya Stuff: My Life: Random thoughts, Daily Events, Miscarriage, TTC, IF, Adoption, Endo, Friends, Family, Nanny Job, Fur-Babies
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Infertility Support Group Meeting
Last night I attended a support group meeting for Infertility. I always walk away from support group meetings in a better mood. It's awesome to be in a room full of people who know exactly how I am feeling, without me even saying a word. Last night's meeting was on Chinese medicine to help infertility, and also gave people a chance to voice questions and concerns about living with infertility. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my daily thoughts that surround my infertility. The woman running the meeting gave the wonderful advice (you've probably heard it before) of "Thou Shall Not Covet". It is hard for women with infertility to not feel jealousy over seeing women with babies and knowing that we want that so badly, but just can't have it. Jealousy, frustration, anger, sadness, and self-hating thoughts (ie; my body is not good enough, my body is a failure) are just a few of the near daily thoughts for a woman suffering with infertility. Not to mention that it also wears on a marriage and relationships. The monthly cycle is intensified for a woman with infertility. We count days constantly, we worry about over-exertion, we worry about timing. Then...we believe we are pregnant, we believe that "this is the month", we start taking every little symptom as a pregnancy symptom. We get our hopes up.....then.....once again.....our period shows up and these thoughts/dreams we just had all over again (that we promised we wouldn't indulge in this month) are crushed/shattered/destroyed. And don't even get me started on weight gain. Every month when we think 'I'm pregnant!' we start to eat a little extra, then, we're not pregnant, and all those extra calories were for nothing. It's a perpetual cycle. I just want to know, when will I get my happy ending?
PS. For my 'infertility readers'-in the left column of this blog is a song you can play that reminds me and helps me with my battle with infertility. It's called 'Chasing Pavement' by Adele.
"Thou Shall Not Covet"
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The "Chasing Pavements" song Alicia referred to in the above post is in the music player in my right sidebar.
This article was posted by Jeanne via "Jeanne's Endo Blog" at www.endendoat.blogspot.com.
6 comments:
Oh yeah! I forgot about that post! Thanks for reminding me! And THANK YOU for always creating awareness about topics that so many ppl are afraid to talk about!! :)
You're awesome!
Alicia,
You have so many amazing posts about infertility that it was easy to find one I could post here and I knew it was OK with you. So I went ahead and posted it. You don't need to thank me! I'm just glad to help create awareness about infertility. :)
Jeanne
I just wanted to take the author in my arms and hug her for a long time.
This made my cry and brought back all the times I cried both alone, and with my husband (but mostly alone because he had enough to think about with his job,) with the exact same feelings Alicia spoke of. It's the hardest thing to deal with.
All we can do is hope.
Jannie,
My friend Alicia lives in the same area as me (about 40 minutes away). With our busy schedules, I don't see her as often as I would like but I would love to give her big hug myself so I know what you mean about that!
I met her through my endometriosis support group and we were in touch online intensively before we ever met in person.
When we finally met, we did the "big hug" thing and I got tears in my eyes!!
It felt like I knew her for years with all of our emails and calls prior to meeting. (This was before either of us blogged).
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to deal with.
I do know from listening to dozens of support group women (in endo support groups since I was diagnosed in 1992) that it's a horrendous, agonizing thing to go through.
Also I've met many women online who have shared their stories. I don't pretend to understand how it feels but it does break my heart.
I've had 6 lapaoscopies and 1 laparotomy. For many years (long before I got married), I was scared to death that I might not be able to get pregnant. I used to obsess over it. I knew the statistics too well and was really concerned because 4 of my surgeries were before trying to conceive. I was really scared.
However, I don't pretend to know what it's like to have infertility or go through miscarriages. I just can't imagine.
Yes. Hope is very important.
Jeanne
I hope Alicia is feeling better. I know she had stopped posting for a while.
Jeanne, thank you for helping to keep this heart breaking illness and Alicia's story in the public.
All of her post just tear at your heart. You want to do or say something that will ease her pain. But, what would that be? I guess we just have to be there for her with open arms when ever she needs our love.
Mckay k,
Alicia has accomplished SOOOO much in recent weeks!
Her blog has tons of posts on infertility and miscarriage. It's just amazing. Her posts are so candid, raw, and moving that it's unbelievable.
She is shedding light on this stuff and helping so many. It is heartbreaking what she is going through.
She is really diving in, though, and helping educate others. It's just amazing how much she has written on her blog about this stuff.
Really informative posts!!!! I desperately want to ease her pain!! I have no magic answer.
Frankly, I don't think there is one. I have just supported her the best way I know how and followed her cues on what is helpful to her & what is not.
She makes no bones about where she stands in her blog posts. So I follow her lead. I try to show her my love every day through this difficult time.
I email her pretty much daily and she & I have been cross-blogging a lot about infertility and miscarriage.
She and her husband have started the adoption process. I can't imagine anyone who'd make a better mom than her.
She is totally amazing!!
Thanks for stopping by. Your comments are always so caring and kind! :)
Hope you are feeling well!!
Jeanne
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