Looking for Jeanne’s Endo Blog?

It has moved and gotten a new name. You should be automatically redirected in 6 seconds. If not, please visit
http://chronichealing.com
and update your bookmarks.

5/07/2009

Mother's Day For Infertile Patients

This infertility post is a tribute of sorts to my friend Alicia. My admiration for her is immense for so many reasons.

The week before last I had the pleasure of meeting up with Alicia for lunch! As some of you are aware, Alicia (aka Yaya) and I are real life friends in addition to being blogging friends. Alicia has struggled with infertility and miscarriages; she and her husband are immersed in the foster-to-adopt process at this time.



As Alicia never leaves home without her camera, she took the picture above of us as we were saying our goodbyes at the restaurant. It was so nice to see her in person. Alicia is the type of person who literally lights up a room.

Moving onto the topic of this post, infertility. We are heading into what may arguably be the most challenging weekend of the year for infertile women. Father's Day will be shortly behind it, of course (and it too can be a very stressful time).

Recently Alicia posted an excellent article on her blog regarding Mother's and Father's Day. She posted information from RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association.

I am going to post that same RESOLVE letter here but would like to first link to the post that brought it to my attention from Alicia's blog: Yaya Stuff.

I would like to print the RESOLVE letter here as well but first I wanted to include a picture of Alicia and her husband, Josh, who have been through such an emotional rollercoaster with infertility and miscarriages.



Sometimes I think it can be too easy to read a book, blog, or magazine about infertility and not really begin to comprehend it without having experienced it firsthand. I think it's important for people to see real faces of real people who struggle with this real condition. Josh and Alicia have been through great adversity. I admire their strength, courage, and determination in navigating this complex and grueling process!

At this point, I'll post the RESOLVE letter that Alicia shared with her readers:

As Alicia put it:

"So while the following letter written by RESOLVE is intended for the clergy, it is actually helpful for people in all realms of life to realize what we endure on Mother's and Father's Day".

Here is RESOLVE's letter---

Dear Member of the Clergy,

As you prepare your Mother's Day and Father's Day religious messages this year, please consider that 1 in 8 couples of childbearing age are struggling with infertility. These particular holidays are two of the most painful days for those struggling to have children.

Although this condition is rarely physically life threatening, it can be devastating to a person's sense of hope. Couples often endure monthly cycles of emotional roller coaster rides, ranging from optimism to despair and depression. Infertility sometimes lasts for years and people often go through this experience in isolation, as their desire for a larger family remains unfulfilled.

Many religious and social events revolve around children, and couples without them may feel uncomfortable or left out of activities altogether. Because the topic of infertility involves reproduction, it is an extremely personal problem that couples face. For this reason, it is often a very difficult topic to discuss, even with a trusted rabbi, priest or pastor.

As you prepare for the upcoming holidays, please remember the couples in your congregation that have infertility. Infertility is the inability to conceive a child after one year of unprotected sexual intercourse. Infertility is also the inability to carry a pregnancy to term, so persons who have had a miscarriage or who have lost a child by stillbirth struggle with this condition too.

We ask that you keep these points in mind, particularly during worship services, and that you remember couples with infertility in your prayers as you honor all the mothers and fathers in your congregation.

If you would like more information about infertility, please visit the RESOLVE website at www.resolve.org.

Thank you, in advance for your consideration in this matter,


Sincerely,
Your name


For more information from RESOLVE, check out this link:

RESOLVE's Infertility 101

Finally, I'd like to end by thanking my friend Alicia for... being Alicia.

She is kind, caring, incredibly thoughtful, sweet, smart, funny and I am privileged to call her my friend.

I just had to include this picture of Alicia's new haircut because it looked so cute on her blog that I had to post it here as well.



In true Alicia fashion (and for no particular reason at all), Alicia showed up for our lunch date with something for me for no particular reason. This is just classic Alicia... always so thoughtful! She gave me a "wish token".

I am including two pictures here to close out this post. One is a picture of the front of the package it came in and the other is a picture of the back of the token.





This is quintessential Alicia... sharing messages of hope with others. From her unbelievably popular blog to her social network site (the Mommy Wannabe Club), to all of the people she supports through infertility and miscarriage "offline", to her support of fundraisers for organizations such as Parenthood For Me, Alicia helps countless people. As she and Josh go through the adoption process, she is expanding the number of people she is able to help through her blog.

Readers, if you are infertile and apprehensive about this upcoming weekend... try to seek out support from people you love and trust to get through this challenging time of year.

For other readers who are fortunate enough not to struggle with infertility, please be aware that this weekend will be painful and sad for many. Do what you can to support someone you know through this difficult time.

Finally, I would like to thank my friend Alicia for enlightening so many people. Thank goodness Alicia and I met through our local endometriosis support group. Quite honestly, it's hard to remember "life before Alicia". She's that special!

My thoughts will be with Alicia, Josh, and other infertile couples this weekend.

This article was posted by Jeanne via "Jeanne's Endo Blog" at www.endendoat.blogspot.com.

20 comments:

Susie Collins said...

I just love that photo of the two of you! Friendship is so wonderful, isn't it? xoxo

Yaya said...

Thank you thank you thank you!!! Thank you for this very sweet post and thank you for realizing that Mother's Day is one of the hardest days of the year for those struggling with infertility and/or pregnancy loss. Thank you for posting the Resolve letter to hopefully help spread the knowledge of how intensely emotional holidays can be for us childless couples who want nothing more than to have a baby.
Thank you Jeanne for BEING YOU!
Alicia

Jeanne said...

Aloha Susie!

Thanks! We were getting ready to get in our cars and go our seperate ways and Alicia said, "oh wait"... and grabbed her camera to snap a quick picture.

It was a nice sunny day the day we met (one of the first days we had actually seen the elusive sun in awhile).

It was just so nice to see her in person.

Trust me, if you and I didn't live so darn far apart... I'd be asking you to meet me for lunch. :) We'd have to find a restaurant that was Multiple Chemical Sensitivity-friendly, of course.

Yes, friendship is wonderful indeed. Alicia is one special lady... as are you!

Mahalo!

Jeanne
xoxo

Jeanne said...

Alicia,

I know this upcoming weekend will be a tough one for many. I thought that the RESOLVE letter was really well written and definitely wanted to share it here for Mother's Day. I'm sending positive energy your way!!!

Love,

Jeanne
xoxo

Amanda said...

I find it very strange that in the US you celebrate Mothers' and Fathers' Days at different times to the UK - I always thought it was weird seeing all the adverts and emails that come from US websites (which happens so often because so many of the major websites are America) - think about it, we celebrate Mothers' Day in March and Fathers' Day in June so seeing advs in May is confusing. I never really thought about it being doubly painful for infertiles though, so this post really made me think about that!

Aside from that I'm glad you had a good day with Alicia and what a lovely token :o)

Jeanne said...

Amanda,

I didn't realize they were celebrated at different times in the UK and the U.S.

Yes, unfortunately, this weekend can be a painful one for many.

Yes, Alicia is an amazing woman who inspires many. :)

Jeanne

Jannie Funster said...

Jeanne, this is such a beautiful post I'm sitting here crying. And praying that every couple will get their longed-for child. It is a heartbreak I remember all too well it cuts you to your deepest core.

The prayer from Resolve (at least to me tis is a prayer) touched me so so deeply.

You guys are so cute together. And does Yaya have the most beautiful eyes in the whole universe or what?

Peace and love to all.

Jeanne said...

Jannie,

Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

Wasn't that RESOLVE piece amazing? I thought that was really nicely worded and an interesting way of spreading needed support.

I can't tell you what a treat it was to see Alicia in person that day. It had been too long. She is one special lady.

Yes, they say the eyes are the window into the soul, right? Well, her beautiful eyes really are a window straight into an amazing soul. Of course, your famous eyes are just as special. :)

Yes... peace and love to all is right.

Jeanne

P.S. I wish you lived close enough to meet for lunch. :)

Melissa Ralston said...

Dear Jeanne,

Thanks for sharing this blog post with the community. Yes, Mother's Day (and Father's Day) are two of the most brutal days of the year (competing with Christmas of course!). As someone who struggled through multiple miscarriages before and after the birth of her son, it's very painful for me when I consider all of the losses that I have gone through.

While I have been lucky enough to be touched by the "fertility angel" twice now, I long to hear the voices of the children that have become angels. I long to know what they would be like as little people, what they would look like, etc. It's days like today that make it all that much harder for women such as myself, when everywhere you turned you're to be reminded of your losses and your grief. It's a cut to the heart being re-opened.

Thanks again for sharing sweetie. I hope that today is an easier day for you.

Coming2Terms said...

Couldn't have said it better! Alicia's a doll. Looks like you had a terrific visit!

Great letter,btw. The whole M-Day service is one of many reasons I stopped going to church.

FranticMommy said...

Thanks for that great post and tribute to Yaya. Although Yaya and Ii have never met and have only been bloggy buddies for a short while, we have a common thread together. I can tell that she IS the type of person who lights up a room. I can also tell that this gal is destined for great things, will be a great Mom, and will always be the type of person who draws others to her in a postive way. ((HUGS)) to both Jeanne and Alicia!

Jeanne said...

Melissa,

Thank you for your comments. I cannot imagine what it has been like for you to go through multiple miscarriages but I know it's painful for you. You have been through a great deal of adversity.

Today I am thinking of all of the people who have not been able to conceive and/or have not been able to carry to term... as well as those who have secondary infertility, which is painful as well.

I know that the many losses you have sustained will never be forgotten. I also know that you help a great many with your large online support group and with your blog.

Your strength and courage is inspirational.

Jeanne

Jeanne said...

Coming2Terms,

Thank you... I take that as a high compliment from you! Yes, Alicia really is a doll. It is always a treat seeing her.

Yes, I think the RESOLVE letter was well-written and that someone had a great idea to reach out to members of the clergy for the reasons you mentioned. It’s unfortunate that our society isn’t more sensitive to this issue.

Jeanne

Jeanne said...

FranticMommy,

Thank you for your comment! Yes, Alicia really IS the kind of person who can light up a room (and it's clear that her bloggy buddies can pick up on it when her blog is so widely read that a recent post topped 100 comments)!

She is incredible in many ways.

((HUGS)) back to you!! Thank you.

Jeanne

tikno said...

Well written post for Mother's Day.

I saw many posting about Mother's Day on the internet but your post gives different color.

Jeanne said...

tikno,

Thank you. Unfortunately, there are too many people who struggle to become parents.

Jeanne

tikno said...

Jeanne,

I really interest to your post, so I created additional update with a link to this post.
Send my greeting to Alicia.

Jeanne said...

tikno,

Thank you very much for linking to this post from your Mother's Day post. By educating the public about the impact this day has on infertile couples, we are helping society be more supportive of these couples.

I will pass along your sentiments to Alicia... even though I see that she has already commented on your Mother's Day post! She is so quick with her updates, it's downright amazing.

Thank you again!

Jeanne

autoimmunelife said...

Just letting you know - and I thought this was a great post to do it on, since it's one of the reasons I feel you deserve it (guess I should put that in my post) - you have an award waiting for you on my blog - for your lovely blog! :)
J

Jeanne said...

J,

Thank you very much! I just posted a comment on your blog and also sent you an email. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness!!

:)

Jeanne

HAVE YOU SIGNED YET?? Please Sign Endometriosis Awareness Petition Below! Awareness YEAR-ROUND!