Melissa Ralston!
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Melissa Ralston is a registered social worker with a degree in social work, psychology and several counselling certificates; a mom; and a fellow endo survivor of 18 years. She has led a Yahoo Support Group called "Goddesses of Endometriosis" for the past 7 years, providing emotional support and educational services on the topic of endo and available treatments.
Melissa started her endo symptoms when she was 12 years old, however despite persistent complaints to her doctor, was not treated adequately for this disease. Melissa did not receive a diagnosis of endo until her left kidney went into failure due to strangulation caused by the endo growths, and had to have surgery to remove the growth. Following the diagnosis, and while she was experiencing early miscarriage after miscarriage, Melissa had seen no less than 7 specialists, who offered no effective treatments other than "having a baby if she were married, but since she wasn't, a hysterectomy could be done". After a failed round of Danazol, followed by more birth control pills which never helped, Melissa found an endometriosis specialist on her own. Melissa was lucky enough to conceive and carry to term, and received her second lap within 3 months of her son's birth, during which she also received a diagnosis of stage 1A endometrial cancer. Melissa has survived the devastating effects of losing a job based upon her health status, having her relationships destroyed, as well as putting up with severe reactions to many of the medications that she has been on for treatment.
Aside from endo and cancer, Melissa lives with fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, inflammatory bowel disease, migraines, and asthma, many of which co-exist in many ladies living with endo.
EDITOR'S NOTE:
I have had the privilege and honor of getting to know Melissa over the past few months through extensive communications via email and Facebook. Like so many endometriosis patients, she has been through great adversity. Melissa has shown great leadership and has supported the endo cause a great deal. Her sense of humor and positive attitude often leave me chuckling. Her emotional journey is compelling. Even more compelling is her positive outlook and hopeful attitude that endo cannot and will not defeat her or take away her hope. Melissa inspires other chronically ill patients!
Melissa's online support has helped a great number of endometriosis patients.
Here is Melissa's letter to her endometriosis!
Dear Endo Cells,
This is your official notice that I have had it up to HERE with you. For far too long you have been causing me nothing but pain; physically, socially, and emotionally. Luckily you haven’t caused me financial ruin as I do have top of the line pharmaceutical coverage, although you have made it difficult for me to work at times. I am here to say that I am no longer going to let you get away with the path of destruction you have left in your wake.
From the time I was just a “baby” of 12 years, I have felt your unwavering disruption to all that is joyous in life. You destroyed my blood counts through the intense, prolonged bleeding “cycles”. The birth control pills that were prescribed to “regulate you” seemed to have no effect on you whatsoever. Week after week I would find myself at the ER, to the point where I believe I had frequent flier miles, if not at the very least having my file labelled as a drug seeker. However, even the best pain drugs out there that they would prescribe would still leave me in pain. At one point, you were still causing me pain despite taking Percocet every 4 hours, long-acting morphine every 12 hours and Demerol every 6 hours for the “breakthrough pain”. Is there even such a thing as “breakthrough” when the pain doesn’t go away to begin with?
I’ve done multiple pharmaceutical treatments to get rid of you. You tricked the birth control pills, every brand that I’ve tried that is, still continuing to cause me pain and heavy bleeding.
You didn’t like the injection of Depo-Provera, so much so that you decided to cause me to have convulsions, mood swings, severe depression, heavier than even heavy blood loss leading towards blood transfusions, all of which ended with me having my first of several "D&Cs", all in the name of trying to get rid of you. I did two rounds of Danazol, which helped to slow you down a bit, but in the end it appears to have led to the onset of fibromyalgia. Who knows maybe I was also destined to have fibromyalgia appear at some point in the future. I have tried the NuvaRing, which only lasted a few hours before you rejected that treatment completely. At least it was a quick decision. I had a Mirena inserted, you still decided to bleed every day for 6 months and then decided to have regular cycles anyway. I added the Arimidex and Micronor to the mix, you still decided to be hormonal pain in the butt by not responding to three medications all used at the same time. Because of these treatments, my risk of cancer has been raised, especially since I already do battle against endometrial cancer. You have also decided that you hated my left kidney and killed it by cutting off the blood supply. Thanks again. At least when you attacked my kidney you made the doctors sit up and listen and I finally had a name to call you other than hell.
[Editor's Note: Here is some information regarding how endometriosis can affect the kidneys in some patients]... See NDT: Nephrology Dialysis Transplantation.
You have devastated my dreams of a large family, leaving me with only the hope of the possibility, however slim, of having one more child. You have found me pregnant quite a few times, but with the exception of my beautiful Jacob, you have taken those away from me. It’s a pain that I will never get over, however it is easier to get through over time.
You have caused me great emotional pain. When you are a young teen, you want to fit in more than ever with your peers. However when you have to take days off school at a time, every month, this doesn’t bode well for friendships. You want to be able to go hang out with your friends, but when you’re exhausted and in pain, the only place you end up going is bed. You have seen many boyfriends come and go, unable to withstand the fear of someone they love never getting better, or the burden that our caregivers go through. You have met with several doctors, prior to finding the great knight who is determined to slay you. These doctors all suggested pregnancy, but with you endo, pregnancy appears to not want to stick with my body. Many times I’ve been tempted to have a hysterectomy just to cut you out of my life, however I know now that it’s not likely to help me out oh so much considering you’ve attacked my bowels and bladder. I’ve had you cut out of my bowel, but you make a sneaky return. I’ve had you cut out of my bladder, but the real issue might be your counter-part, interstitial cystitis. I used to have more bad days than good, and that made me one very sad lady.
I’ve taken the few gifts that you’ve given me; experience, knowledge and a driven desire to kick your butt and used it to help others. For the past 7 years I have run a support group for women with endo called Goddesses Of Endometriosis. Close to 1000 members and still growing, I have been able to use your negativity towards doing good, helping others to battle this disease at where they are at on their journey. You have allowed me to meet, educate and receive wonderful thank you notes from women all over the world. For this I am grateful, as helping others helps me at least feel like I’m contributing something towards getting rid of your existence. The website is: Goddesses Of Endometriosis.
I am now embarking on my next journey with you, trying to conceive another child with my partner. Leaving the medications behind has reminded me of just how much I dislike you. But I am determined to continue on with my life, with or without you. I am not going to let you destroy my dreams of one day completing my Masters and going into private therapy practice. I am not going to let you destroy my desire to have a happy family life. You may still make your annoying self known to me, but the only way you might limit me is physically. I am not your emotional and social hostage.
Sincerely,
Melissa Ralston
Leader of Goddesses Of Endometriosis (Yahoo Support Group)
Site for this group: Goddesses Of Endometriosis
EDITOR'S NOTE:
I thought Melissa's story of courage and hope would be the perfect way to round out the year.
Happy New Year!
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UPDATE:
Melissa started a new endo blog tonight and I just had to update this post to reflect it!
Endometriosis: Facing the Battle Head-On
See my blog roll entry titled:
A New Blog -- "Endometriosis: Facing the Battle Head-On"... {{{{{ NEW BLOG AS OF 12/31/2008!! }}}}}
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This article was posted by Jeanne via "Jeanne's Endo Blog" at www.endendoat.blogspot.com.
