tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post3264928037458562177..comments2023-05-22T12:07:16.728-04:00Comments on 'Chronic Healing' located at: http://chronichealing.com/: Endometriosis Guest Blogger: One Brave Woman's Struggle Coping With Endometriosis... Melissa Ralston's Letter Of Intent To Do Battle! (UPDATED)Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11454649048120118507noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-39440284522466446152009-01-03T23:54:00.000-05:002009-01-03T23:54:00.000-05:00Jannie Funster,You know a thing or two about FUNNY...Jannie Funster,<BR/><BR/>You know a thing or two about <B>FUNNY</B> *AND* about <B>ADVERSITY!</B><BR/><BR/>Yes, Melissa has a wonderful sense of humor! Interestingly, I have found that SO many endo patients do! <BR/><BR/>I think it's often an effective coping mechanism for diffusing tension, breaking sad/angry moods a bit, and dealing with what happens even if we don't like it.<BR/><BR/>I have met some AMAZING women both offline and online who have managed their endo with grace, strength, and dignity. (That includes you, my dear)!<BR/><BR/>Funster, you know the power of humor and you spread that funny bone of yours on your blog to make people laugh and to cheer them up.<BR/><BR/>That makes YOU a hero of mine!<BR/><BR/>God bless you, Jannie Funster!<BR/><BR/>JeanneJeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11454649048120118507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-32589227797546787282009-01-03T23:44:00.000-05:002009-01-03T23:44:00.000-05:00Wow, what a story of heartbreak yet she tells it w...Wow, what a story of heartbreak yet she tells it with humor in this letter to her endo cells. <BR/><BR/>You all are heroes to me, whether you intend to be or not.<BR/><BR/>God bless you all.Jannie Funsterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11595786402510366043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-36501640052984539042009-01-02T15:47:00.000-05:002009-01-02T15:47:00.000-05:00Melissa,Visualization is very powerful. I believe...Melissa,<BR/><BR/>Visualization is very powerful. I believe it is an excellent coping mechanism. <BR/><BR/>My husband and I took a meditation class from my acupunturist and it was extremely interesting. <BR/><BR/>I know I need to integrate this better into my daily life. I intellectually know I really need to do so. I don't know why I have to struggle so hard to do something that makes me feel good when I do it, helps me cope, and that studies have proven has health benefits like reducing blood pressure and inducing relaxation. <BR/><BR/>It shouldn't be so hard for me to set aside time for it but I struggle to do it as often as I know I should. <BR/><BR/>My acupuncturist is one of the most amazing, compassionate, intelligent people I have ever met. He has taught me about focusing on the present moment and it's something I need to work at more. <BR/><BR/>I know intellectually that dwelling on the past or getting anxious about the future isn't healthy. <BR/><BR/>I try to put the present moment stuff into practice. I don't always succeed but I try. (My acupuncturist is Buddhist, by the way). He is one of the calmest people I know. If only everyone could have that sort of sense of peace. <BR/><BR/>I have learned a lot since I have been getting acupuncture from him. I must admit that I have trouble putting some of the stuff he talks about into practice even though I wish I could!<BR/><BR/>You are very right that it takes more energy to suppress messages and deny their existence than to simply accept it!! I have made some pretty great strides in this area but I have a ways to go!<BR/><BR/>Mind-body awareness is huge and is absolutely not respected in Western culture the way it should be. It's hard for me to overcome years of "brainwashing" by Western society (for lack of a better term)... that is not in sync with the mind-body awareness that I <B>KNOW</B> is so important!<BR/><BR/>I too am far more positive than a few years back. I am not naturally funny by any stretch of the imagination. I don't come up with smart comebacks or witty remarks. <BR/><BR/>I have been known to pick my friend Alicia's brain when my blog is getting too "serious" because she is as funny as they come. I actually email her for ideas to help me lighten things up sometimes.<BR/><BR/>When I am funny, it tends to come out as being pretty sarcastic. This can be misinterpreted as bitter when in all reality it's not intended that way at all. <BR/><BR/>When I convert anger into humor, it is not as funny to others as I intend it to be. I have picked up some "gallows humor" from my husband over the years. He is one of those naturally funny people who can come up with very quick comebacks and smart remarks to <B>EVERYTHING.</B><BR/><BR/>I have my own strange humor but it's usually kind of "sick humor" in the sense that I can joke about very upsetting things that some might not be able to joke about. <BR/><BR/>Maybe that ability is from hanging out with my husband. He can make almost anything funny.<BR/><BR/>I really like your letter-writing ideas. As readers here know, I tend to write my letters right on my blog!<BR/><BR/>I tend to write the inside of my brain on this blog for the world to see. That can be kind of scary to do (!) but the interesting thing is that when I let myself hang out there like that, people seem to really appreciate it.<BR/><BR/>So I try not to worry about how what I say will be interpreted as just say what I need to say. <BR/><BR/>Yes, I sometimes obsess a bit about how to word things and I worry about the responsibility of "covering all the bases" when I write because I want to help people and don't want to "miss anything" important. Yes, I can drive myself crazy with this. <BR/><BR/>I know I can't control how people interpret my message or what they do with it but I feel a responsibility to "get things right" when I write. Sometimes I drive myself a bit crazy with this process. However, writing is cathartic overall.<BR/><BR/>Melissa, as you know... I'm having a really tough day as I messaged you earlier.<BR/><BR/>Mimi, you got an interesting message from me today too.<BR/><BR/>Generally my writing can be a "distress signal" at times.<BR/><BR/>Some days (like today), I probably should just shut down my computer entirely and not write. I actually did that earlier today for a few hours. <BR/><BR/>Maybe I need a few more hours of "non-computer time". I think I'm pushing burnout pretty hard.<BR/><BR/>I'm just having a really bad day. I guess I'd better go find a way to laugh at it!<BR/><BR/>If you have any ideas, let me know. My energy level today is in the basement!<BR/><BR/>Thanks for listening, ladies! :)<BR/><BR/>Jeanne <BR/><BR/>P.S. Melissa, as far as "rambling", I am the queen of that. :) So you don't have to worry about feeling that you're "rambling" here. You're in the right place for that. :)Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11454649048120118507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-10402141747907585112009-01-02T14:57:00.000-05:002009-01-02T14:57:00.000-05:00Thanks Mimi and Jeanne :) Several years ago durin...Thanks Mimi and Jeanne :) Several years ago during my psych degree we got to study visualization and it's effects on health recovery. While I don't necessarily believe that it's going to change a disease process, it does go towards helping to cope with it. There has been research done on children with cancer who were taught the techniques of visualization, and it showed a greater recovery through the treatments and less intense experiences of the horrific side effects. Similar studies have shown positive effects on adults as well. <BR/><BR/>Buddhist psychology (one of my areas of interest) also teaches the art of "speaking to your body" and really listening to the messages that it is sending. When we try to suppress the messages and pretend that they don't exist, is when we tend to develop more trouble. It takes more energy to ignore and pretend something doesn't exist, than to accept it and find ways of living with it. Mind-Body awareness is so important and yet in our "western" culture, it's so often overlooked. <BR/><BR/>I can see the humor in my experiences only because I choose to do so. For far too long I have lived with this disease and have experienced the intense frustration and sadness that goes along with it (not to mention the pain!). I've come to learn through my psych, philosophy and social work courses that it's possible to choose "happiness". To turn the negative into a positive. It too requires great effort, but it's an ongoing practice of mine through my meditation practice. If you had asked me 5 years ago for my take on life, I would likely have come across slightly different, definetly more negative. <BR/><BR/>I find myself often writing letters even if I don't intend to ever publish them or send them to people. The idea for me is just to get something down on paper that I can look back on in time and say "I survived that too". When I was pregnant with my son, I wrote letters to him, I still do. I've kept the letters as I think that it'll make a very valuable gift for when he is MUCH older! I've talked about being a single mom, his illness (he has epilepsy), my feelings and for each holiday I write him a special blurb. For example, at thanksgiving I will write what I am thankful for that year, for Valentine's Day I'll write about the special idea of love. It's sure to be a beautiful gift. It's something that I started to do when I found out that I had cancer. <BR/><BR/>I also write angry letters. These ones I tend to take somewhere and burn. It's almost cathartic to see my words and "feelings" go up in smoke. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, I'm rambling as usual. Thanks again for your kind words ladies.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491843435252083702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-1954813711674412912009-01-02T14:26:00.001-05:002009-01-02T14:26:00.001-05:00Mimi,It's funny (as in strange) but I had to re-re...Mimi,<BR/><BR/>It's funny (as in strange) but I had to re-read Melissa's story to see what part was funny. <BR/><BR/>You see, I am so used to Melissa's great sense of humor and her way of wording things that I was having trouble remembering what on earth was funny about all of the adversity she has been through. <BR/><BR/>As soon as I took another look at her story, it was pretty obvious that just the concept of writing a letter to "cells" <B>IS</B> funny!<BR/><BR/>Melissa has kept a very positive attitude and great sense of humor no matter what comes her way. <BR/><BR/>She has made me chuckle a great deal over the last few months. It's interesting how my brain had filtered it and had forgotten how funny the very idea of writing a letter to endometrial tissue really is! :)<BR/><BR/>So many women with endo have been through so, so much that I've noticed they often develop a sharp sense of humor that helps them deal with it.<BR/><BR/>You're right. Writing to endo cells is funny. Having the ability to joke about something so serious is a way of coping, I think.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for getting me to stop and take another look at this, Mimi. <BR/><BR/>I have met so many funny people through blogging. My philosophy is always "either laugh or cry". While there are times that the "crying" part is healthy, necessary, and appropriate... I try as hard as I can to laugh more than cry.<BR/><BR/>This doesn't always work for me but I try to focus on the positive. It's amazing how hard chronically ill patients typically work at focusing on the positive... against all odds.<BR/><BR/>I have met so many strong, funny women in 7 months of blogging. Sometimes it just amazes me!<BR/><BR/>JeanneJeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11454649048120118507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-43948537875156232712009-01-02T14:26:00.000-05:002009-01-02T14:26:00.000-05:00Mimi,It's funny (as in strange) but I had to re-re...Mimi,<BR/><BR/>It's funny (as in strange) but I had to re-read Melissa's story to see what part was funny. <BR/><BR/>You see, I am so used to Melissa's great sense of humor and her way of wording things that I was having trouble remembering what on earth was funny about all of the adversity she has been through. <BR/><BR/>As soon as I took another look at her story, it was pretty obvious that just the concept of writing a letter to "cells" <B>IS</B> funny!<BR/><BR/>Melissa has kept a very positive attitude and great sense of humor no matter what comes her way. <BR/><BR/>She has made me chuckle a great deal over the last few months. It's interesting how my brain had filtered it and had forgotten how funny the very idea of writing a letter to endometrial tissue really is! :)<BR/><BR/>So many women with endo have been through so, so much that I've noticed they often develop a sharp sense of humor that helps them deal with it.<BR/><BR/>You're right. Writing to endo cells is funny. Having the ability to joke about something so serious is a way of coping, I think.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for getting me to stop and take another look at this, Mimi. <BR/><BR/>I have met so many funny people through blogging. My philosophy is always "either laugh or cry". While there are times that the "crying" part is healthy, necessary, and appropriate... I try as hard as I can to laugh more than cry.<BR/><BR/>This doesn't always work for me but I try to focus on the positive. It's amazing how hard chronically ill patients typically work at focusing on the positive... against all odds.<BR/><BR/>I have met so many strong, funny women in 7 months of blogging. Sometimes it just amazes me!<BR/><BR/>JeanneJeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11454649048120118507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-32007695172961069302009-01-02T11:09:00.000-05:002009-01-02T11:09:00.000-05:00This was great... so funny and sad at once. :D Tha...This was great... so funny and sad at once. :D Thanks for putting this up.Marimoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01620548493781840068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-27624607159583065672008-12-31T23:23:00.000-05:002008-12-31T23:23:00.000-05:00Melissa,Thank you for your support and inspiration...Melissa,<BR/><BR/>Thank you for your support and inspiration to countless women!<BR/><BR/>I'm glad you like how the pictures turned out. I tried to pick ones that seemed relevant to your content! :)<BR/><BR/>Jeanne<BR/><BR/>P.S. Alicia, I got your email today about the "Mommy-Wannabe-Club" and will certainly be glad to help with that ASAP. My New Year's post is scheduled to publish at 12:01 am. I'll post your link ASAP. Thanks!! :) I'm about to go check it out on your post right now... holiday or not... unless I get kicked off the computer. :)Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11454649048120118507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-71663214212184085462008-12-31T21:54:00.000-05:002008-12-31T21:54:00.000-05:00Alicia,Hope is the one thing that we have to maint...Alicia,<BR/><BR/>Hope is the one thing that we have to maintain and the one thing that is hardest to do so. It's devastating when we're forced to give up our dreams, especially in a society that still places a higher value on women going through childbirth. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for your kind comments :)<BR/><BR/>And thanks Jeanne for posting my battle. It looks beautiful!Melissa Ralstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14456013487142006196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-47360277130731146302008-12-31T14:34:00.000-05:002008-12-31T14:34:00.000-05:00Alicia,I'm so sorry for everything you have been t...Alicia,<BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry for everything you have been through! :(<BR/><BR/>As I have said before, I look at you like a younger sister. I wish I could find a way to give you some comfort!! <BR/><BR/><B>Your courage & determination inspires many, many others!!!</B><BR/><BR/>Love,<BR/><BR/>JeanneJeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11454649048120118507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314299443408924142.post-44404576230038898932008-12-31T14:23:00.000-05:002008-12-31T14:23:00.000-05:00Melissa,Thank you for sharing your story. I am in ...Melissa,<BR/>Thank you for sharing your story. I am in the stage you were in of recurrent miscarriages. It seems like there is no silver lining for me. I lose another ounce of hope with each passing day. :(<BR/><BR/>Thank you for having the courage to help others who are suffering.<BR/><BR/>AliciaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com